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  • Writer's pictureSpencer Dawson, RCC


Updated: Jan 17

Relationship Anxiety (or ROCD) has become more talked about in recent years. There is now more information on Relationship Anxiety, the signs, symptoms, and explanation behind it.

When someone who has been struggling with Relationship Anxiety finally finds out the name for what they have been experiencing, they usually feel a sense of relief.

Woo hoo! We finally know what it is that we have been dealing with! But now what? Unfortunately, that sense of relief doesn't last very long. Learning about Relationship Anxiety gives us some temporary certainty (which is what all of us who struggle with ROCD crave).

Knowing all there is to know about Relationship Anxiety is helpful, but it's not enough.

We have to get to the root of the problem.

This is where the hard work comes in. The therapy, the mindfulness, the change.

Relationship Anxiety survives and thrives off fear. This fear usually surrounds the fear of losing control or the fear not having certainty. Both of which are impossible to have. That last sentence may have sparked some anxiety in you - and that's okay. That is the fear talking.

Therapy and inner work can help get to the bottom of the fears that keep Relationship Anxiety going. Once we have worked through our deep-seeded fears, Relationship Anxiety doesn't have anything to hold onto anymore.

What can it look like to recover from Relationship Anxiety? Here are some examples:

- You still have intrusive thoughts, but they don't stick/trigger you anymore

- You have less fear around not having certainty or control (ie, you're able accept life for what it is: uncontrollable and uncertain!)

- Your nervous system feels more regulated. (You feel more calm and more like yourself).

Relationship Anxiety can be hard to work through alone. Therapy can be a great place to start or continue your journey recovering from ROCD.

If this post resonated with you, please share it or leave a comment!

If you'd like to work with me on your journey to recover, you can contact me at

Take care,

Spencer Dawson, MA

Registered Clinical Counsellor

Canadian Clinical Counsellor

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