Working with Emotions: Counselling in BC

It can be a common experience in our busy world where we feel we aren't in touch with our feelings, or our inner experiences. What this can sometimes mean is that our feelings feel overwhelming, confusing, shut down, or hard to name. From a somatic attachment lens, this isn’t a personal failure - it’s actually how we have survived until now.

Our capacity to understand and regulate emotions develops in relationship. When early caregivers were consistently attuned, we learned that feelings were manageable and made sense. When attunement was inconsistent, dismissive, or intrusive, we may have adapted by disconnecting from our bodies, intellectualizing, over-functioning, or becoming hyper-aware of others instead of ourselves. What looks like being “not in touch with emotions” is often a protective strategy that once helped us stay connected or safe.

In a somatic attachment approach, we can work to help folks shift the focus from analyzing emotions to experiencing them safely in the body and working with emotions. Instead of asking, “Why do you feel that way?” we might begin with, “Where do you notice that in your body?” or “What happens in your chest as you say that?” This slows the process down and builds capacity gradually. We track sensations, impulses, breath, posture, and subtle shifts - all while staying anchored in a regulated therapeutic relationship.

In this work, the therapist becomes a co-regulating presence. If a feeling becomes too intense, we gently move between activation and safety. If someone feels numb, we start with neutral sensations and build awareness slowly. Over time, clients can discover that emotions are not dangerous waves that will drown them, but physiological experiences that rise, peak, and fall.

Being “not in touch with emotions” is not about lacking insight. More often, it’s about lacking safety to feel them. Through a somatic attachment lens, therapy becomes a space where the body can learn that feelings can be felt, named, and survived in connection.

To learn more about working with feelings in this way, please feel free to reach out for a consultation call HERE.